So, I've been very productive lately! Taking big strides in proactively working towards being more "submittable". I've signed up for a number of workshops and finally got myself into weekly classes. I said to myself, "Myself," I said, "you need to get into regular, weekly classes to stay fresh and out of any ruts. It is time.". And so I did.
I enrolled myself in a weekly audition refresher course at VAS and went in for my first session last Wednesday. I was terrified. Not only is starting new classes at a new school always a challenge, but in this instance, due to timing and a clerical issue, I was actually joining a class in which the same students had been working together for years. Years. I was the quintessential, super awkward new girl, who literally stood in the corner of the room for the longest time because I couldn't find a seat. That awkward. Seriously.
As lovely and welcoming as the students I was joining were, I couldn't shake these overwhelming nerves and this all-encompassing intimidation feeling. I had something to prove - I couldn't just join this troupe quietly and slowly introduce myself to them, you know, get acquainted the normal human being way. No. I had to make an impression. I had to slap them in the face with who I am and announce my arrival. ...And that's when my pseudo stand-up routine began.
Oh yeah...I guess when my subconcious decided which version of Taylor I was going to give these new people, it went balls to wall class clown. Full goofy mode ensued. I couldn't stop! And I wasn't even very funny - I just kept talking. I got up to do my scene, making small quips all the way up, little self-depricating one-liners to ease the tension (for myself??). And by the time I started my scene, I was in such a state of panic and amid my own Robin Willaims-esque, rambling whirlwind, I hardly got my dialogue out at all. I Woody Allen-ed my way through it, stumbling through every line and adding about 30 seconds worth of "Uh's" and "Mm's" on either end of every sentence. Needless to say...it was pretty rough.
Want to know how I knew it was that rough? Because of the sympathetic looks from all of the other students, and the kind notes from the teacher who really just wanted to focus on finding tools to help me get through dialogue. No real acting notes. There was also a general understanding "Hmm" when I admitted that my auditioning career currently only involved commercial auditions. You don't want your peers to understand why you're only going out for commercials...it isn't a good thing.
So, this Wednesday I'm going to be a little more prepared. I want people to get to know me, and that means getting to know my sense of humour, but I have a lot more going for me than just that. If I want to be taken seriously, I'm going to have to take myself more seriously first. I totally failed last week, and I'm used to doing better work...I felt like Sally Brown getting a bad mark on her art project! So this week, I'll be prepared and confident, and I'll leave the stand-up routine at home...until I get to show what I'm capable of otherwise, and then I can break that part out again. See...I even managed to avoid making any Legally Blonde references to compare to my revelation here. This is a big step!