Monday, 4 March 2013

Giant Marshmallows...and other totally non-acting-related things...

Sometimes, in an actor's life, things happen that aren't at all related to the usual theme of their acting blog, but are so incredibly worth sharing that they veer off-course for one entry for the sole purpose of sharing with their readers the most incredible (potentially somewhat elaborated version of their) story. This, my friends, is the story of my very first car crash:

If you know me at all, you know that I have a relationship - bordering on weird - with my car that is pretty much not comparable to any other person/car relationship. You know that Shania Twain song? "That don't impress-a me much". I'd be the guy she describes as the one who 'kisses my car goodnight", and "So you've got a car...that don't impress-a me much". To which I would reply, "Look lady...I don't know who you think you are, turning down Brad Pitt and a freaking rocket scientist, but that gives you no right to insult me and my vehicle! Plus, you're not even my type!".

The point is, I love my car, and his name is Dexter. So Dexter and I are leaving work the other day...early, because I had a tummy ache...and we were crossing the Port Mann bridge. Driving in the far right lane, I suddenly notice what appears to be a giant marshmallow hanging out on the shoulder, just ahead to my right. It's possible that this was actually a giant stack of hay covered in white plastic wrap or Styrofoam...but it isn't impossible that it was actually a giant marshmallow. As I was completely distracted by the large, fluffy white thing on the side of the road, I wasn't thinking about logical things like how when the guy in front of me passed the marshmallow that the wind would probably pick it up and send it flying towards my car.

So much to my surprise, when the guy in front of me passed the marshmallow, the wind picked it up and sent it flying towards my car! Theres not much one can do or think of to do when a giant marshmallow is flying towards your car, except to squeeze your stomach in - as if that might make you smaller and put you out of the way - and slam on the breaks as if your life depends on it! ...Because you know, in this situation, your life freaking depends on it! I didn't quite get to a stop before I drove right into the marshmallow, but the impact wasn't as bad as I had braced for. The marshmallow bounced back off from me as I came to a full stop, and just in the nick of time the guy behind also slammed on his breaks and swerved to the side to avoid hitting me! I had, as you can imagine, Enya playing through my head as this all happened in slow motion...who can say where the road goes, where the day flows, only time...And just as quickly as it had entered my life, the marshmallow had left, rolling off into the deep to terrorise other people with tummy aches just trying to get home.

That's a lie. The marshmallow did continue to bounce around a bit, but I did see the truck - the one with the flashing orange lights that indicates that it is in charge of cleaning things up like this - appear in order to take care of it all. The man that almost crashed into me pulled up beside me and we shared a forgiving and understanding series of sign language and pseudo baseball hand signals. And then, with a loving tap on the dash and a "Thanks buddy", Dexter and I continued on our way home, unscathed and only brought closer together by the experience.

Also, the industry is really slow right now, so there isn't much I could write in here that would be of interest to anyone...hence the telling of the epic tale of Dexter and Taylor's first big accident!

PS You may have also noticed that my blog is looking a bit different...we're in the middle of getting a make over. Stay tuned for some more changes :)