Friday, 12 October 2012

What Are You Waiting For?

This is something that popped up on my Tumblr homepage this morning…and it really got to me. Only halfway through my coffee, three separate Celtx tabs open at the bottom of my screen with half-written ideas in them, and scrolling through totally banal posts and pictures of Tom Hiddleston on another great procrastination site…and I come across this (literal) wake up call:

“Stop seeing yourself as a list of problems. I caught myself thinking - this is when I was 34 - ‘I’ll write a book when my life begins’. I caught myself thinking this and I thought ‘What do I mean when my life begins?’ Then I realized what I meant was when I was finally properly thin and very smooth and my hair was naturally brilliant and I had a walk-in wardrobe like the one Carrie Bradshaw has in Sex and the City and my house was tidy and I’d finally gotten round to having a regular manicure and pedicure regime…I don’t know, just kind of perfect. Pretty, I guess, and kind of perfect, and everything was serene and calm. And then I started…this is the argument I’m having in my head, and the cleverer me is going ‘What the fuck are you on about? That’s never going to happen. If it was going to happen it would have happened by now. You’re 34. Your life has already begun. It began in 1975 when you were born. If you’re going to do something, get on with it now. Stop waiting.’ I think women have this feeling of waiting - when I’ve just lost that bit of weight, then things will happen, then things will be possible. Stop seeing yourself as a list of problems, stop going ‘Everything will be fine when I’ve sorted these things out’, start enjoying your life now.”
-Caitlin Moran

Raise your hand if you have had these exact same thoughts before? I know have. Almost verbatim. Isn’t that odd? Isn’t that such a weird way to live?

Here I am, with my endless list of…lists, and excuses and timelines…My solution is I need to lose 15 pounds. No. My solution is I need new headshots. No. My solution is I need to write a script for myself to star in. No. My solution is I need to throw caution to the wind and move to LA.

My solution is all of these things…or at any given moment, none of these things, but something totally different. I don’t know! But my solution definitely is not putting those things down in point form, as if they might start magically falling into place and I can eventually check them off. It isn’t putting off the things I think I can one day accomplish because I’m waiting for some big sign to let me know that “one day” has finally arrived and it’s time to start doing.

No more waiting. No more procrastinating. From now on I’m not just a dreamer, or a scared half-asser, or a hyper-organized list maker. I’m a do-er. I’m a do-er who sets out to do things and does them…and enjoys of every second of it.

Care to join?