Monday, 3 September 2012

And That's A Wrap, Folks!

In the early hours of Saturday morning, as the sun rose over the first day of September, a few very dedicated filmmakers, myself and other actor, Zachary White, echoed a cheer of victory (or a sigh of relief) as Brendan Prost called “Cut!” on our last shot of the film. After 15 days of working on Spaces and Reservations, we were finally wrapped, and off we were to Denny’s for celebratory cheap coffee and hash-browns, and then some tired, scattered goodbyes.

I’ve done all of the rudimentary, post-film, get-back-to-reality tasks since those goodbyes. I ensured a goodnight’s sleep for myself after that grueling schedule with a strong drink on Saturday night, and didn’t start my day until late into the next morning. I got myself back to the gym, something that had been neglected for a little more than two weeks. Stopped by Brendan’s house to pick up the remainder of my costume pieces, as well as to verbally fill out my comment card on how the shoot went (A+’s all around). And then 3 loads of laundry done, and my life should be back to normal.

But how odd is that? To walk into this sort of alter universe, where we bare our souls and become our most vulnerable selves, and eat with the same people every day and take very little part in the other aspects of our lives. Everything is call times, and schedules, and light set ups and 11th takes. How much time is allotted for sleep this day, and when can we fit in dinner today, and how many scenes do I cry in today? Bills and exercise and seeing family are all put on hold…we’re making a movie.

I don’t think one can step into that world and exit again unchanged. Life is back to normal for now, but not without a new perspective or understanding of myself. I’ve learned a lot about my capacity and capabilities as an actor, but also about myself as a colleague and as a sensitive person. All my old diaries became character research and I don’t think any of us could have gotten away without revisiting the most vulnerable moments in our respective histories. And we’re lucky for it. We don’t get many chances to do those things, to explore why we are the way we are and what has happened to us that brought us here. It’s art. And it’s important.

So, for now, until we get to see the film, this is how I leave behind that experience…with a great deal of gratitude, humility, new found confidence and a sense that I am the luckiest person alive to get to call this my career.


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(Me and Brendan Prost!)